Leave the porch light on; I have mischievous visitors in mind.

I have a reservation on your attention; please arrive promptly.

If you wear that sweater I might invent reasons to keep it there.

I’ll trade you one confession for two very good distractions.

Bring the flashlight; I’m plotting dubious things that require secrecy.

I’m confiscating your patience for a short experiment in fun.

Slide your phone this way and I’ll draft a plan that excludes chores.

I’ve sharpened my wit and I’m allowed to use it on you tonight.

Leave your keys on the table and your plans at the door.

I promise to be slightly unreasonable if you promise to laugh.

Hide the cookies and I’ll hide you under better reasons to stay.

If you hum that song I’ll impose a very specific punishment.

I’m outsourcing my bad decisions to you, accept your commission?

Bring that ridiculous hat; I need it for a very serious scheme.

I will surrender breakfast in exchange for one outrageous minute.

Your scarf is now a treaty of distractions; sign with a kiss.

Tell me one small lie and I’ll invent a more fun truth.

You owe me five minutes and one ridiculous favor, collect them tonight.

I have plans for you and none of them involve leaving this couch.

Put the book down — chapter interruptions are my specialty.

I’ll insist on reading your messages aloud if you keep making that face.

Slide the pizza box my way and I’ll slide a better idea back.

I’m making a rule: any excuse you have is automatically banned tonight.

Bring the red pen; I have edits for your schedule that include me.

Leave the lights off and the door unlocked for my bad decisions.

I want to trade your ear for a secret, deal?

No spoilers for the film — I plan to provide my own plot twists.

I saw your left shoe by the door and now it’s an invitation.

Tell me which cheek you trust more and I’ll test your judgment.

Hide your phone; I have ideas that start with whispers.

I’m mischievous and you’re the only audience I want.

Bring me the grocery list and stay for dessert that isn’t on the list.

Your socks are fair game tonight, just so you know.

If you leave that show on pause I will take advantage of the silence.

Cancel your evening — I booked popcorn and interruptions.

Trust me: I rehearse your laugh sometimes; tonight you get the live performance.

Trust me: I practiced your name in an impressive whisper; bedtime is the reveal.

I stashed an apology in your lunch; open it and accept the bribe.

I’ll trade you the good pillow for a foot massage later — deal?

I checked the door twice so you can check my pockets later.