Promise to be mildly repentant and I'll show you my wonderfully unrepentant side.

I kept the receipt for today's fight — exchange it for an hour of teasing.

Your pout is unfair; bring it here so I can examine it closely.

Drop the righteous speech and pick up your shoes; I have plans for you.

Return the pen you borrowed and I'll return the favour with something cheeky.

I will accept manual apologies tonight; no digital ones, bring your hands.

You owe me silence and a secret smile; deliver both at the door.

Your sulk looks silly from here — practice your face-to-face remorse.

Stop being dramatic across town; come here and demonstrate your apology in person.

I've scheduled a make-up interrogation and the only evidence needed is your grin.

You took the last biscuit; return immediately or accept the consequences (they're cute).

Come back wearing the shirt you hate and I'll let you win this round.

Don't worry, I'm saving a very particular punishment that involves your favourite film.

You can try to sulk, but I'm already assembling a tickle ambush for later.

Leave the stubborn face at the door and bring your ridiculous laugh instead.

Hide the remote and come negotiate terms: I accept cuddles as currency.

You owe me one dramatic apology and two cheeky smiles, no substitutions.

Bring the red mug; I want to see how guilty you look holding it.

I don't want tonight's argument to be the last thing between us; I'm sorry.

I know I raised my tone tonight; I'm sorry for making you defensive.

I'm sorry I walked away instead of staying to calm down with you.

I feel awful and small for the way I left things after our fight.

I'm sorry I joked when you were serious; I see now that hurt you.

I know I kept repeating myself tonight; I'm sorry I wouldn't hear you.

That slammed cupboard door keeps replaying; I'm sorry I let anger do that.

I feel ashamed of how I handled the conversation and want to change.

I know saying sorry doesn't erase tonight, but I'm starting with that.

My chest is tight after tonight; I'm sorry I let it spill onto you.

I keep thinking about the crumb you pointed out and how petty I acted.

I noticed your keys on the counter and realised I missed your laugh already.

I'm sorry I blamed you for my bad day; you didn't deserve that.

I'm still here, and I'm sorry I made you feel alone in the argument.

I know I interrupted you tonight; I'm sorry and I want to listen.

Your phone face-down on the table after you left made me feel awful.

I want to fix this — starting with apologising for raising my voice.

I can't stop replaying your last words and wishing I'd answered differently.

That cracked plate on the floor made me realise I hate fighting with you.

I'm sorry I snapped; I care about you more than my stubbornness did.

I still want to hold your cold mug from tonight and say I'm sorry.

Trust me: I rehearse your laugh sometimes; tonight you get the live performance.