Tell me your safe word and I’ll suggest we don’t use it until dinner.

I left a scribble on your calendar; discover it at 2pm and prepare to be teased.

Hide the remote and I’ll invent more fun ways for you to beg for control.

Wear perfume that doesn’t match your day and I’ll complain perfectly when you get home.

I’m thinking about your laugh and it’s making me contrive excuses to hear it later.

If you bring the movie, I’ll bring the pillow that smothers polite movie-watching.

Tell me one embarrassing thing you did at 19 and I’ll trade you two made-up confessions.

I’m plotting a small domestic crime: stealing your free hour after work.

Send me a picture of your coffee and I’ll send back a plan that ruins your schedule.

I found the sweater you left here; wearing it is optional but encouraged.

Don’t eat the pastry in the kitchen — it’s a test and you’re going to fail deliciously.

I’ve scheduled a fake alarm for your afternoon; it’s set to remind you of dessert.

I’m bringing the song from that terrible playlist; you’ll thank me with a kiss.

If your morning call runs over, tell them you’re delayed by bribing me later.

Wear the shoes that click down the hall; I like knowing exactly where you are.

I left a silly voicemail you'll find later; listen at your desk and try not to grin.

Pretend you forgot an errand so I can make you miss it in the most delightful way.

I’ll steal your office chair for 10 minutes and replace it with a better offer.

I hid your favourite pen; trade it for one hour of uninterrupted misbehavior.

I’ve been rehearsing a terrible joke for you all morning; it’s worth a blush.

If you wear that scarf I’ll invent a reason to kiss your neck when you get home.

I rearranged the cushions so your name is the only one on my mind tonight.

Tell me which song you hate and I’ll sing it only to you at dinner.

Leave the spare key under the fern and don’t be surprised when I’m using it.

I packed a sticky note in your lunch that you’ll find at 3pm and it’s mischievous.

Don’t answer your boss for five minutes this afternoon; I need you distracted in the best way.

Buy the cheap chocolate from the corner shop and save the good stuff for when I’m there.

I still have the coffee stain on my shirt from the other night; keeping it as evidence.

Put the towel on the radiator and tonight I’ll use it for something much better than drying.

I’ll text you from the photocopier with something scandalous if you promise not to laugh out loud.

Mail that meeting agenda back unopened and make time for dessert at my place.

Close the curtains on your lunch break and practice your surprised face.

I woke up smiling at the memory of your laugh and now I can’t stop plotting minor trouble.

Can you bring that cheap paperback you hate so I can scribble a note in the margin?

I’m going to hide your left slipper when you leave, consider this fair warning.

If you wear the blue shirt I’ll pretend I didn’t plan the rest of the day.

Stopped for the office biscuits and bought that ginger one you steal — see you tonight.

I’m thinking about your tired smile and hoping this day treats you gently.

I refilled the sugar jar since you always say it’s the little things.

I texted you because I’m grateful you’re just you, messy hair and all.