I scheduled a detour on your route home that ends at my door.

Hide your glasses; I want you to squint at me until you laugh.

I’ll beat you at the game if you promise not to sulk about it.

Wear yesterday’s jeans; I plan to test how many pockets hold secrets.

I put a sticker on your back that says ‘hug me later’ — you’re welcome.

Bring a pen; I need a volunteer for signing a suspiciously small contract.

I swapped your tea for something cheeky; blame me when you smile.

Leave your laptop open; I have a ‘work emergency’ that’s highly entertaining.

Wear the watch you hate; I’ll find a use for it before midnight.

I put glitter in the cookie jar; open it and accept the consequences.

Bring your oldest sweater; I want to bury my face in it for science.

Say yes to dessert even if you’re full; I have ideas for leftovers.

I’m stealing one of your socks to build a questionable fort later.

Don’t make the bed yet; I left a reason to mess it up deliberately.

Come home with takeout and the wrong sauce; I’ll fix both problems.

I’ll distract you with bad jokes until you forget to be responsible.

Wear something with pockets; I intend to put small surprises in them.

Leave your mail unopened; tonight’s delivery is me and a loud laugh.

I hid a note in your shoe that says ‘report to couch immediately’.

If you whistle while cooking, I will reward you with extra stirring.

I’ve arranged candles that are purely decorative; the mischief is on me.

Promise to pretend you don’t know me when I wear the ridiculous hat.

I put your phone on charge in the bathroom; you can come claim it later.

Text me one word and I’ll tell you which socks to keep on.

I’m saving the last of the ice cream for you, provided you wear that shirt.

When you answer the door, don’t ask questions — just grin and come in.

Hide your keys; I want you to be late for everything but the bed.

I have a favour: let me choose tonight’s film and veto your sensible snacks.

If you don’t wear shoes coming inside I will make you carry the groceries.

Put on the hoodie you say is boring and meet me by the back door.

I’m planning to interrupt your meeting with a very loud kiss later.

I left a trail of wet dishcloths to where I hid your favourite biscuit.

Bring the blue mug from the kitchen and don’t wear that sensible jumper.

I’ll steal the last slice of pizza unless you come stop me.

I felt glad today remembering the way you corrected my pronunciation and laughed.

I made a note to buy your favorite ice cream for when you need a small rescue.

I like knowing you’re on the other end of the line when I lock up at night.

I want to hear about the sandwich you made because your taste choices amuse me.

I noticed the scuff on your phone case and thought, that’s where you live a little.

I’ll be the person who holds the umbrella when you forget yours again.